Shame – Being VS Doing Something Wrong …
I struggle to facilitate conversations about shame. And I’m transparent about that with my clients. This is for a few reasons: shame is difficult to conceptualize. Unlike “coping skills” or “aftercare planning,” shame is nebulous. Open for discourse. Dependent on our unique perspectives and past experiences. Additionally, I’ve yet to master managing shame in my […]
What Men Want (from their Addiction Treatment)
What do men want when they check in at an addiction treatment center? According to Rae Rabideau, Sanford Manager of Clinical Operations, most men enter treatment to “learn how not to relapse”. The details of their stay are not something they’ve really thought about, and the continuum of care and the future is unknown. […]
Social Drinking, Social Anxiety and the Open Bar
Updated 12/4/2025 What is it about an open bar at a lively party? Friendly wait staff in bow ties and damask-draped folding tables.The inevitable lineup of soon-to-be new best friends. And for anyone like me, with social anxiety, the open bar is the ultimate event ice-breaker. New Friends, Open Bar In the movie […]
Nurse Practitioner in Addiction Treatment: Limelight Interview
Nurse Practitioner Amy Bukala (with Medical Director Dr. Dosanjh above) is not easy to pin down for an interview. She’s busy. And mobile – moving from Sanford Outpatient Center to the residential Sanford Houses, the back of her white coat flapping. As a board certified Family Nurse Practitioner (FNP), Amy works autonomously as well as […]
Fear Not Sober Vacations – Great Escapes for Sober Sojourners!
A newly sober friend of mine was looking meaningfully into his coffee. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “I’m going on a sober vacation to St Martin next week and I’m really nervous about my recovery,” he said. My immediate thought was a sarcastic, Poor you – that’s the kind of problem I’d like to have. But […]
Dear Rae: Why Can My Boyfriend Drink More Than Me?
Dear Rae: I am a currently a Junior and I have been drinking heavily for my entire time at college. Mostly beer, but we also do shots. Lately, after a night of partying, my hangovers seem to be getting worse. If I’m honest, I don’t feel that great most of the time… but it […]
Coping with Life’s Ordinary Moments in Recovery…
Are things honestly ever “just fine” in early recovery? At Sanford House , we begin group therapy sessions with a check-in. Clients are asked to identify how they’re feeling today. (Sure, sometimes therapy is just as on-the-nose as one may imagine.) I challenge my clients to reframe answers like “fine,” “good,” or “I don’t […]
Honoring the Unique – The Life Story Project at Sanford
I visited Seattle recently, and stayed in a hostel for the first time. When I got home, I struggled to describe my trip. “My perspective is a little different now,” I said. Different names for the same place… honoring the unique, dynamic, peculiar, and predictable In truth, all of our experiences shift our worldview […]
Clever Addicted Brain – Sabotaged when Contemplating Change
Revised January 2026 My favorite scene in the movie Jurassic Park doesn’t end well. The Australian park ranger is hunting raptors, and one of the creatures rattles the fronds in front of him. While he prepares for the kill shot, another raptor sneaks up from behind. The ranger is eaten alive, but not before uttering […]
Dear Rae: What Level of Care is Best for My Wife?
Dear Rae: I feel completely helpless. My wife has been drinking heavily for years, but she has a good job and is very active. She runs three times a week and we have a pretty big social life. Here’s the problem – lately, she seems to be drinking more and it is impacting her quality […]
