Veterans Day and Mental Health: When Holidays Are Hard
JOHN in autumn: a respite for those who have served.
For many who served, Veterans Day brings a mix of emotions. Pride sits next to grief. Gratitude from strangers can feel good and strangely distant at the same time. If this time of year feels heavier than it should, you’re not alone. It may mean you’re carrying more than people around you can see.
If you’re in crisis right now: Dial 988 and press 1 to reach the Veterans Crisis Line, or text 838255. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911.
Why Veterans Day Can Be Hard
A day meant to honor service can bring back memories that are hard to shake. Some of the most common reasons:
- Reminders and anniversaries. Ceremonies, flags, and news stories can bring back thoughts of deployment and loss.
- Those who didn’t come home. Many Veterans spend Veterans Day thinking about friends they lost, in service or after. Grief often gets louder during holidays.
- Missing the mission. After service, some Veterans lose the structure, purpose, and close-knit teamwork that once defined their days. A holiday built around “thank you for your service” can make that gap feel wider.
- Feeling out of step. Holiday gatherings tend to expect cheer. If you don’t feel it, it’s easy to pull away, or to show up and feel alone in a room full of people.
- Alcohol everywhere. With parties and family gatherings, alcohol can be hard to avoid during holidays.
- Things you did or saw that still weigh on you. Learn more about the difference between moral injury and PTSD.
These reactions are common among people who served, and they are treatable.
Signs Someone May Be Struggling
Hard days are normal. What matters is when the hard days start to stack up. Watch for changes like these in yourself or someone you love:
- Trouble sleeping, restlessness, or nightmares
- Pulling away from family and friends
- Drinking more or using drugs to cope
- Anger that flares fast or lingers
- A sense of humor that has gotten darker than the people around you
- Losing interest in things that used to matter
- Feeling numb, on edge, or like you’ve lost track of who you are
Some of these can be signs of PTSD, depression, or a substance use problem, and they often show up together. Sanford’s PTSD treatment page explains how these conditions are treated.
How to Support Someone Who Served
You don’t need the perfect words. Showing up consistently often matters more than saying the “right” thing.
- Check in directly. “How are you really doing this year?” opens more doors than “Happy Veterans Day.”
- Invite without pressure. Include your loved one in plans and make it easy to say no or leave early.
- Offer alcohol-free options. A morning hike, a game, or coffee gives people a way to connect that doesn’t revolve around drinking.
- Listen. You don’t have to understand everything a Veteran went through. Let them talk without judgment.
- Take warning signs seriously. If someone mentions not wanting to be here, or talks about hurting themselves, stay with them and call 988, then press 1.
When It’s Time for More Support
If the hard days have lasted for weeks, are impacting work or relationships, or are being managed with alcohol or drugs, it’s time to talk to someone. Reaching out isn’t giving up. It’s taking the same kind of action you’d take for a fellow Veteran. Treatment for trauma has come a long way. Specialized therapies help the brain process painful memories so they lose some of their grip.
For many people who served, it also helps to heal around others who’ve been there.
Treatment Built for Those Who Served
JOHN (Just One Hero Needed) is Sanford Behavioral Health’s residential and outpatient program for Veterans and First Responders. It’s located in a restored historic home in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
- People who get it. Staff at every level have military or first responder backgrounds or close ties to those communities.
- Groups with peers. Group therapy includes fellow Veterans and First Responders.
- Trauma-focused care. Specialized, trauma-focused care tailored to Veterans’ unique experiences and needs.
- Care for the whole picture. JOHN treats PTSD, addiction, mental health conditions, and eating disorders, with 24/7 nursing on site.
- Insurance that works. JOHN is part of the VA Community Care Network and in-network with most commercial plans.
“As a retired deputy sheriff and someone in recovery, I know firsthand the battles our Veterans and First Responders face. On Veterans Day we thank those who raised a hand and answered the call to serve. They deserve our time, support, and access to treatment when needed.” – Matthew VanLiere, Executive Director, JOHN
You Don’t Have to Wait for a Crisis
This Veterans Day, the most meaningful step might be a phone call. With EZ Admissions, a real person answers 24/7 and can help you figure out next steps, including checking your insurance.
Call 616.202.3326 or contact us 24/7.
If you’re in crisis right now: Dial 988 and press 1 to reach the Veterans Crisis Line, or text 838255. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911.
