The Moment of Action – Creating Meaningful Change
How do we know when we are ready for change? How do we enact change in our lives? When we anticipate profound change, we believe the momentย will come to us in an equally profound way. We want the moment.ย We expect it.ย I’ll change when the moment presents itself to meโsomeday when it’s right. The moment permits us to change. It is cleansing; itโs rebirth.
Meaningful Change
Iโll know when Iโm ready. Theyโll be a sign. It will feel different.ย And in doing so, we distrust our willingness to change. We ignore our ability and responsibility to enact change. We look for it elsewhere. Most of us are uncomfortable making decisions, acting purposefully, and taking risks.ย So we waitโฆ and waitโฆ and wait for permission to change.
The Fallacy of The Moment
The quest for perfect timing and optimum conditions feeds negative self-talk.ย You can’t do thatโnot yet. Hesitate.ย Why do we think this way? And why do we believe these messages so readily? Do we feel more in controlย when we plan instead of act? And what are the costs of control? What do we gain from limiting ourselves or halting our progress?ย The longer we wait, the deeper we sink into inauthenticity.
Here & Now, Not If & Soon
All we truly have is the present.ย The future is an illusion.ย It hasnโt happened yet. So many of us act according to an undefined and nebulous โsomeday.โ We don’t exist in the present, let alone make decisions in the present. Our worlds are goal-oriented and fast-paced. Things are organized that way for a reason, but when future thinking reinforces our immobility and indecisiveness, itโs damaging.
Examples:
โIf I lived in a different place, then I would be able to pursue my passion.โ
โIf I had a partner, then I would feel accepted and fulfilled.โ
โSomeday, Iโll quit drinking, but today, I’m too stressed from work.โ
The Stages of Change Model (SCM)
Scientists box and label. It puts left-brained folks at ease. A while ago, researchers Prochaska and DiClemente developed a theory to assess, โHow do we tend to enact effective change?โ Their research was based on the observations of those with addictions attempting to modify a behavior.
1. PRECONTEMPLATION:
โI do not have a problem. I am not taking action to change.โ
2. CONTEMPLATION:
โI have a problem. I may take action to change.”
3. PREPARATION:
โI have a problem. I will take action to change.โ
4. ACTION:
โI have a problem. I am taking action to change.โ
5. MAINTENANCE:
โI have a problem. I am maintaining my change by continuing to take action.โ
Change is a deeply personal and individualized process. It is rarely forced or granted. True change occurs in the mind of the changer, not because someone or something is acting upon them. Most rehab facilities rely on anย SCMย format. Addiction professionals plan treatment based on a client’s “readiness to change.” This is important information. Therapists can use theย SCM to tailor care, anticipate needs, and better understand an individualโs perspective/experience.
Just as I may relate to Jane in the Acceptance stage of grief differently than I would Joe in Denial, I relate to a client maintaining their recovery differently than a client pre-contemplative in their disease.
Transcendence: Change Nirvana
After maintaining the change long enough, we reach transcendence. Transcendence means to view the behavior from a new perspective… transcend beyond the behavior and into new life patterns… and purge the lingering effects of the past. This step was tacked on post-Prochaska/DiClemente. Just as Buddha transcended earthly pleasures and ignorance to reach Nirvana, we can overcome indecisiveness and immobility to achieve lasting change.
Come as you are:
-
- Respect yourself enough to make a change. You deserve to live your best life. Your loved ones are deserving of you at your best.
- There will always be a reason why not.
- (This doesn’t mean it’s legitimate.)
- Self-imposed obstacles, pity, and excuses trap us in our addictions and keep us stuck, miserable, and sick.
- No one, or nothing, is responsible for your health.
- Develop an attitude of pro-activeness.
- Regain control.
