Sober Fun (Holiday Edition)
JOHN Veterans & First Responders treatment center, where author Chris Birkmeier works as a Resident Support Specialist
One of the biggest lies people with an addiction believe is “If I don’t drink/smoke/use, I can’t have fun.” Unfortunately, the lies we tell ourselves are often the hardest to overcome—especially during the holidays. So, what does sober fun look like between November and January? You might be surprised to know it can look both very different and very similar to “fun” in active addiction.
I often find it helpful to think of recovery less like deprivation and more like discovery. You are re-learning yourself: what you actually like and what you don’t. The exciting (and sometimes uncomfortable) part of this journey is figuring out new things to enjoy. All of this takes time, patience, and a sober mind to sort through. Of course, this is something the holidays rarely encourage, but sobriety gently insists upon.
As I look at the lights on the tree at JOHN Veterans & First Responders treatment center, I am grateful for my sobriety and inspired by the individuals here who have chosen to pause their lives to invest in their health and well-being. With them in mind, I put together my thoughts on the Sober Fun (Holiday Edition).
We keep it simple at JOHN, acknowledging all holidays and bringing color back to people’s lives.
Sober Fun (Holiday Edition)
You’ll probably find some things you once thought were “fun” during the holidays lose their luster in sobriety. Closing down the bar at the office holiday party stops being charming. Drunken family debates no longer feel witty. Did they ever? You might realize that if you “need a drink” just to get through Christmas Eve dinner, you don’t actually want to be there in the first place. You may discover you prefer to leave gatherings at a reasonable time, go home, and wake up without dread the next morning. I know, it sounds almost un-American, but it’s true.
Things that you loved in active addiction:
More often, you’ll find that the things you genuinely loved with alcohol, cannabis, etc., you still love without it—it just takes a little getting used to.
Did you love watching Christmas movies with a drink in hand? Hot cocoa, tea, or even a sparkling water with cranberry might feel strange at first. However, it’s the ritual that matters: the mug, the warmth, the pause. The same goes for decorating the tree, baking cookies, wrapping presents, or sitting by the fire. You start to realize that these moments, once dulled by a haze, suddenly sharpen and glow with the clarity of a clear head.
Things you never considered fun when drinking/smoking/using:
Then there are the things you never considered “fun” at all, but suddenly find yourself grateful for in sobriety.
- Waking up early on Christmas morning without a headache.
- Tasting the food you spent hours cooking.
- Remembering conversations with family instead of replaying them with anxiety the next day.
- Having the emotional bandwidth to be present with kids, parents, or loved ones.
- Not scanning the room for the open bar or wondering if you’ve had too many.
- When you check the clock, it’s not because you’re counting the moments to escape, but because you can’t believe how fast the day went.
The list goes on and on—almost everything shines a little brighter when the holiday “cheer” isn’t chemically enhanced. Yes, having sober fun during the holidays takes some getting used to. You’re shedding old skin and growing new traditions, experiencing the season in its imperfect, emotional, sometimes awkward, but real glory. You’re learning to enjoy life one day at a time and, forgive me for this, to stop and smell the pine trees, the cookies, the cold winter air—and actually remember what they smell like.
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