Alcohol and Divorce – Is Drinking Ruining the Marriage?
Updated 1/2/25
In an old song recorded in the 50s, Frank Sinatra sings, “Love and marriage, love and marriage. Go together like a horse and carriage. This I tell you, brother, you can’t have one without the other.” True indeed. But a less lyrical hypothesis is also true; alcohol and divorce go together like a horse and carriage. Read on to learn the facts behind divorce and alcohol, according to mental health professionals at Sanford West Behavioral Health Campus.
The Statistics Behind Alcohol and Divorce
Studies show that alcohol is often cited as the reason for a marriage break-up. Likewise, lack of commitment, infidelity, conflict, money worries, and domestic violence are common reasons for divorce. One could argue that alcohol misuse impacts all of these factors, causing breakdowns in communication and accountability.
Overall, the results indicate that the most often cited reasons for divorce at the individual level were lack of commitment (75.0%), infidelity (59.6%), and too much conflict and arguing (57.7%), followed by marrying too young (45.1%), financial problems (36.7%), substance abuse (34.6%), and domestic violence (23.5%). National Institute on Health (NIH) – Reasons for Divorce and Recollections of Premarital Intervention: Implications for Improving Relationship Education
Many factors impact the relationship between marital instability and alcohol consumption. For example, a study by The University of Buffalo established that marriages end in divorce almost 50% of the time if one of the parties is a heavy drinker. The researchers also found a slightly higher divorce rate when the heavy drinker was female. However, the divorce rate for two heavy drinkers was no worse than for two non-heavy drinkers (30%). This is not to say heavy drinkers create a healthy home. Misery might love company, but the impact on children, finances, and mental and physical health is profound.
Divorce also causes individuals with no drinking problem to be at a higher risk for the first onset of alcohol use disorder. In other words, alcohol has a bidirectional influence. Drinking alcohol causes divorce, and divorce causes an increase in alcohol consumption. Indeed, the Journal of Studies on Alcohol found that a consumption increase of 1 liter of alcohol per capita brings about an increase in the divorce rate of about 20%.
Many factors impact the relationship between marital instability and alcohol consumption.
So, when is your spouse’s drinking cause for concern?
How do you determine whether your spouse is drinking alcoholically and increasing your chances for divorce? Other than counting vodka bottles in the weekly recycling bin? Alcohol dependency is an inability to control alcohol consumption. Even when there is significant damage to interpersonal relationships and other important life roles. If one partner’s drinking impacts the marriage, there is a problem. At Sanford Behavioral Health, we include family counseling in our treatment plan, and our signature Family Program is a free virtual resource for our patients’ loved ones.
The warning signs:
- Relationship problems.
- Neglecting primary responsibilities such as work, childcare, and school.
- Legal troubles.
- Unsuccessful attempts at moderating or stopping drinking.
- Illness – shaking, vomiting, depression, etc.
- Also, drinking as a “remedy” for illness – or unable to have fun without alcohol.
- Denial and underreporting of how much alcohol is being consumed.
- “Incidences” in which others express concern.
- For more warning signs, click HERE.
Can You Avoid Divorce?
Any way you report, study, survey, or slice it, problematic alcohol use impacts both parties in a marriage. Along with the chaos of alcohol addiction, there is a certain predictability. You can expect missed milestones, lies, obfuscations, and disappointments. When someone in the family is misusing alcohol, it impacts the entire family system. Similarly, in romantic relationships, dangerous drinking behaviors negatively impact relationship quality. A study from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) finds that a successful relationship (among college students) can be a catalyst for change. Data from the study offer hope that a good relationship can provide incentives to seek treatment.
If a person is in recovery for themselves first, it will trickle down to all aspects of their life. Forgiving oneself and making amends is essential. Trust has to be gained again. When the family sees their loved one working on behavioral change, it creates a new foundation upon which to build.
Change is hard, and we’ve all been through the mill in the past few years. It might be tempting to put off getting help for yourself or your spouse, hoping for the best. You might make excuses, minimize problems, and think about how to improve things. But thinking about change is not making change. Love and marriage—if you value your relationships and yourself, the time for change is now.
If alcohol is affecting your relationship, click the photo below to call for information or help.
