Do You Really WANT to Change (and Be Sober)?

You have to want to change in order to change.


I could type a million words about why I love being sober, but if you don’t want to stop drinking it will make no difference.


The tools and techniques of change…

I could talk until I run out of puff about all the the tools and techniques I used to quit drinking, but if you want to keep on boozing there’s nothing I can do.


You could halfheartedly give sobriety a go, but if, deep down, you’re not ready to say goodbye to alcohol it’ll never stick. Because, well, deep down you’re not ready to say goodbye to alcohol.


That’s the bottom line. If there’s still a little part of you inside who wants to stay drinking then that part will always win. All it will take is one little thought in your head convincing you to pick up and you will.



That’s the truth.


But if you want to change with every fibre…

But if you want to change with every single fibre of your being, if there’s not one tiny sliver of yourself that believes that continuing to drink is a good idea, then absolutely change will come.


If you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, if you done enough ‘research’ to know that you and alcohol will never have a functional relationship, if you’re completely, totally, 100% ready to give that stuff up for good. Well then, sit back and watch change come!


Or more like roll up your sleeves and watch change come. Because it’s going to take hard work. But that’s OK. Hard work never killed any of us. And many thousands of us have done the hard work and gotten sober.


When sobriety feels too monumental…

I’d halfheartedly wanted to sort out my drinking for many months before I did. I knew alcohol was a big problem for me and wanted things to be different, but I still didn’t want to actually stop drinking. I couldn’t bear the thought of my life with no alcohol in it, and thought it way too monumental of an act to remove it completely.


So, of course, I kept on drinking. I read helpful books but still kept drinking. I tried moderation techniques but still kept drinking. I reached out for help but still kept drinking.



Ready for change and a sober life…

It wasn’t until I had my worst last night of drinking ever that I finally let go of that last little bit of me that wanted to keep alcohol in my life. In floods of tears, on my lowest day ever, I fully surrendered and committed. 100% of me was ready. I knew alcohol had to go, and I wanted it to. I was fully ready for change.


And so of course change came. I’m now just over eight years sober and never felt better.


If you’re trying and failing to stop drinking, please don’t beat yourself up.


All that means is that there’s a little part of you deep down that’s not ready to quit. A tiny little voice in your head that maybe doesn’t believe you can do it, or still thinks alcohol is necessary for a fun, full life.


Trust that you’ll banish that little part eventually. Trust that the clever and strong part of your brain will convince the old way of thinking it’s past it’s use-by date. Trust that you’re going to win the fight.


And then change will come. You just watch.



after marilyn head shot bio

Marilyn Spiller is a viral writer, recovery coach, and recovery advocate. She is the Marketing Director at Sanford, responsible for written and creative content, website design, new media, promotions, subscriber outreach, and SEO. Excursions Magazine is a particular source of pride; it serves a wide range of readers, and “excursion” has become part of the company vernacular, describing Sanford’s signature experiential outings for those in treatment. She also developed and hosts the podcast Anatomy of Addiction and is Vice President of the Board of JACK Mental Health Advocacy.